Rollercoaster

I have been MIA for a couple weeks now.  I have been in a funk of sadness for the last couple of weeks.  I debated if I should blog or not but I think I have decided I should be open and honest with everyone.  Everything that has happened this year has been a rollercoaster.  I take it day by day but some days it is all I can do to make it through the day.  Somedays I want to throw in the towel and just tell myself that maybe I am not meant to be a mommy and then other days I act like I have boxing gloves on ready to fight anything that comes in my way. I thought by now I would have some answers to why I keep losing my babies but it has come at a dead end.  I had some testing done and only one test came back borderline.  So last Friday I had to go back to the doctor for more blood work.  I had to run up and down stairs for 20 minutes before the test and then they drew 9 tubes of blood.  Yes, you heard me right, 9 tubes.  I should find out Friday the results of the testing and am just hoping that it is fixable.  One thing that is keeping me positive is taking my health into my own hands.  I read online about acupuncture helping with fertility and recurrent miscarriage.  I figured it was worth a shot. So, on Friday at 9am I am going to get some acupuncture done.  I am really glad I have a strong support system because I probably would have gone postal by now with all of this stress and setbacks.  My husband, mom, and other friends and family have really been a wonderful support.  Even though they don't know what to say most of the time they are still really positive.  Grayson and my mom won't let me give up.  I try but they aren't budging at all.  I promise I will try to be more positive but just didn't want you guys to think that I gave up.  I will never give up entirely.