People always say to me "You are so strong in all of this, how do you go on?" Well, I always say "I have my days". Today is one of those days. Most days I plaster the smile on my face and just face life. I never chose this for myself but I have to fight and stay strong. I can't give up because giving up makes you a victim but chosing to fight and be strong makes you a survivor. God gives me peace. I pray for peace, comfort, and understanding in all of this. At first I was angry at God after losing my babies but one night I fell to my knees and asked God to help me stay strong and to give me peace. After that night I have felt different and learned to cherish the days I do have, good and bad. I have learned that being late to work or an appointment is not the end of the world. I have learned what really matters in life. Grayson told me the other day that I don't seem to be worrying as much anymore. I used to worry about everything but God has taught me that there is no need to worry about life when He is in control. So, for now I am just learning to love these days and everything it brings.
Here is a song by Mandisa (one of my favorite christian artists) which really speaks to me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tezG4LRNzw
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
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