Sunday, October 2, 2011

These Days

People always say to me "You are so strong in all of this, how do you go on?"  Well, I always say "I have my days".  Today is one of those days.  Most days I plaster the smile on my face and just face life.  I never chose this for myself but I have to fight and stay strong.  I can't give up because giving up makes you a victim but chosing to fight and be strong makes you a survivor.  God gives me peace. I pray for peace, comfort, and understanding in all of this.  At first I was angry at God after losing my babies but one night I fell to my knees and asked God to help me stay strong and to give me peace.  After that night I have felt different and learned to cherish the days I do have, good and bad.  I have learned that being late to work or an appointment is not the end of the world.  I have learned what really matters in life.  Grayson told me the other day that I don't seem to be worrying as much anymore.  I used to worry about everything but God has taught me that there is no need to worry about life when He is in control.  So, for now I am just learning to love these days and everything it brings. 
Here is a song by Mandisa (one of my favorite christian artists) which really speaks to me. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tezG4LRNzw

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