A name

After we lost our first baby I read the book "Heaven is for real."  In the true story the little boy visited heaven and then tells of what he saw.  The part that really got to me is when he told his mom that he saw his sister (whom his mom had miscarried and didn't even know the gender of the baby).  She asked him what her name was.  He said "she didn't have a name because you didn't give her one."  I then decided that I wanted my baby to have a name in heaven.  We named our first baby Peyton since we didn't know the gender and Peyton is pretty gender neutral. When we lost this second baby I thought we would get the results of the gender since we had the chromosome testing.  They couldn't tell the gender from the testing because they didn't have enough tissue.  I have been debating if I should pick out another gender neutral name or go gender specific.  With this baby I felt it was a girl. Grayson also had this feeling.  Since they say the mother is 75% right on the gender we decided we would pick out a girl name.  We picked out Madison.  I have always loved the name Madison and now my little baby has a name for God to call her. I hope Peyton and Madison are playing in heaven and taking care of each other.  Here is a poem I like to read when I am sad.  It helps me realize that my baby is in the most beautiful place being cared for by the angels and God.  It helps knowing that.

"Daddy please don't look so sad, momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies.
please try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you and then changed his mind.
You see I'm a special child, I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him, a product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, so watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star and know that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a gentle breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it's me planting a kiss upon your nose.
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy, that's just me giving your heart a hug.
So daddy don't look so sad and momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies!"